一天在宴会上，有个书法家在帮来宾用墨书写名字作为纪念。
STEVEN, 就写“史蒂文”；ALICE就写“爱丽斯”。
有个仰慕者欲送幅华人书法给友族朋友 NAJIB， 就叫书法家写。
哪知，书法家写完后全场华人大力鼓掌， 友族同胞不知就里就跟着拍手，
原来那人叫书法家写NAJIB BAIK， 中国书法家把它翻译成：那鸡白！
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Condom
A young man goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist:
Hello, could you give me a condom.
My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out, he returns and tells him:
"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."
The pharmacist gives him a second condom; and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says "After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute, and when she sees me she always makes allusions...
and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me!!"
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him.
When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and startspraying:
"Dear Lord, bless this dinner... thank you for all you give us...!!!"
A minute later the boy is still praying:
"Thank you Lord for your kindness..."
Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.
The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others.
She gets close to the boy and whispers in his ear:
"I didn't know you were so religious!!!"
The boy replies :"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!!!"
Hello, could you give me a condom.
My girlfriend has invited me for dinner and I think she is expecting something from me!"
The pharmacist gives him the condom; and as the young man is going out, he returns and tells him:
"Give me another condom because my girlfriend's sister is very cute too. She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."
The pharmacist gives him a second condom; and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says "After all, give me one more condom because my girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute, and when she sees me she always makes allusions...
and since she invited me for dinner, I think she is expecting something from me!!"
During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him.
When the dad gets there, the boy lowers his head and startspraying:
"Dear Lord, bless this dinner... thank you for all you give us...!!!"
A minute later the boy is still praying:
"Thank you Lord for your kindness..."
Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying, keeping his head down.
The others look at each other surprised and his girlfriend even more than the others.
She gets close to the boy and whispers in his ear:
"I didn't know you were so religious!!!"
The boy replies :"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!!!"
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
猜猜看
有個人，一天碰到上帝......
上帝突然大發善心打算給那人一個願望。
上帝問：你有什麼願望嗎？
那個人想了想，聽說貓都有 9條命， 那請您賜給我9條命吧！
上帝說：你的願望實現咯......
一天，那個人閒來無聊， 想說去死一死算了。 反正有9條命嘛！ 就躺在鐵軌上， 結果一輛火車開過去， 那人還是死了！
這是為什麼呢？
上帝突然大發善心打算給那人一個願望。
上帝問：你有什麼願望嗎？
那個人想了想，聽說貓都有 9條命， 那請您賜給我9條命吧！
上帝說：你的願望實現咯......
一天，那個人閒來無聊， 想說去死一死算了。 反正有9條命嘛！ 就躺在鐵軌上， 結果一輛火車開過去， 那人還是死了！
這是為什麼呢？
天生的！！！
有一天， 動物們在關公廟前面聞到很臭的味道。
蛇說：我這麼小不會放這麼臭的屁，一定是牛。
牛說：我是吃草的不會放這麼臭的屁。
豬說：放屁的人一定會臉紅。
忽然關公沖了出來，把豬打飛說：說了多少次了，我臉紅是天生的！！！
蛇說：我這麼小不會放這麼臭的屁，一定是牛。
牛說：我是吃草的不會放這麼臭的屁。
豬說：放屁的人一定會臉紅。
忽然關公沖了出來，把豬打飛說：說了多少次了，我臉紅是天生的！！！
这个很好笑！！很白痴！
一個德國人、法國人、及一個日本人要到礦場工作。
老板是美國人，他對德國人說：你體格不錯，你負責苦力。
對法國人說：你說你是工程師，你負責采礦的計劃。
而對日本人他說：你很瘦小。你負責supplies(補給) 。
然後隔周，他們開始上工。
幾天後德國人及法國人發現日本人不見了，找了很久後他們決定還是先回頭工作。
德國人開始工作的時候，日本人突然跳了出來，大聲叫到：「 Surprise!」
老板是美國人，他對德國人說：你體格不錯，你負責苦力。
對法國人說：你說你是工程師，你負責采礦的計劃。
而對日本人他說：你很瘦小。你負責supplies(補給) 。
然後隔周，他們開始上工。
幾天後德國人及法國人發現日本人不見了，找了很久後他們決定還是先回頭工作。
德國人開始工作的時候，日本人突然跳了出來，大聲叫到：「 Surprise!」
要吃什麼自己去買！
有個人到河邊釣魚， 先穿了個樹葉。。。半天沒魚上鉤。
他又換了塊面包。。。一樣半天沒魚上鉤。
沒辦法他只好去換蚯蚓。。。一樣還是半天沒魚上鉤。
他氣憤之下，掏出rm100摔入水中大罵： 「*—%#%要吃什麼！自己去買！！！！ 」
他又換了塊面包。。。一樣半天沒魚上鉤。
沒辦法他只好去換蚯蚓。。。一樣還是半天沒魚上鉤。
他氣憤之下，掏出rm100摔入水中大罵： 「*—%#%要吃什麼！自己去買！！！！ 」
龜兔賽跑
龜兔賽跑， 兔子很快跑到前面去了。
烏龜看到一只蝸牛爬得很慢很慢， 對他說: 你上來，我背你吧......
然後， 蝸牛就上來了。
過了一會， 烏龜又看到一只螞蟻， 對他說:你也上來吧！
於是螞蟻也上來了。螞蟻上來以後， 看到上面的蝸牛， 對他說了句 :你好！
你們知道蝸牛說什麼嗎 ？
蝸牛說：你抓緊點 ，這烏龜好快！！！
烏龜看到一只蝸牛爬得很慢很慢， 對他說: 你上來，我背你吧......
然後， 蝸牛就上來了。
過了一會， 烏龜又看到一只螞蟻， 對他說:你也上來吧！
於是螞蟻也上來了。螞蟻上來以後， 看到上面的蝸牛， 對他說了句 :你好！
你們知道蝸牛說什麼嗎 ？
蝸牛說：你抓緊點 ，這烏龜好快！！！
蚯蚓
蚯蚓一家這天很無聊，小蚯蚓就把自己切成兩段打羽毛球去了。。。
蚯蚓媽媽覺得這方法不錯，就把自己切成四段打麻將去了。
蚯蚓爸爸想了想，就把自己切成了肉末。
蚯蚓媽媽哭著說：「你怎麼這麼傻？切這麼碎會死的！」
蚯蚓爸爸弱弱地說：「……突然想踢足球。」
老婆餅
一個人在沙漠裡快要餓死了，這時他撿到神燈燈。
神燈：「 我只可以實現你一個願望，快說吧，我趕時間。」
人：「我要老婆 ……」神燈立刻變出一個美女，然後不屑的說：「都快餓死了還貪圖美色！可悲！」
說完就 消失了。人：「……餅。」
神燈：「 我只可以實現你一個願望，快說吧，我趕時間。」
人：「我要老婆 ……」神燈立刻變出一個美女，然後不屑的說：「都快餓死了還貪圖美色！可悲！」
說完就 消失了。人：「……餅。」
失火了！
有一天，一家失火了，爸爸媽媽都逃出來了，只剩下一個兒子還在裡面。
媽媽很緊張的在屋外大喊：「 兒子.....你在干嗎......都失火了還不出來 ......」
兒子回答 ：「我在穿襪子阿.....」
媽媽又說，「都失火了還穿什麼襪子....」
過了五分鐘，兒子還沒出來......
媽媽又緊張的喊，「兒子，你到底在干什麼？快出來 ~都失火了，還待在裡面.....」
兒子說，「我在脫襪子阿........」
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